Mother’s Day Wish List

It’s that time of year again people…Mother’s Day! And whether you are going crazy trying to find the perfect gift for your Mama or you are a Mama yourself and you need to drop some not so subtle hints to your loved ones to tell them exactly what you want (sometimes the thought does NOT count and you need a really good gift) I have searched through the bowels of the internet and brought you this MUST HAVE Mother’s Day wish list.  These things are the perfect way to say thanks Mom for putting up with my crap (literally and figuratively) for all these years! Just to clarify, my birthday is the day after Mother’s Day this year so I am expecting at least two or three of these items!

Tom Ford, Neroli Portofino, women's fragrance, perfume bottle

The BEST fragrance

Tom Ford Neroli Portofino Body Oil $70.00

I was walking through Sephora a while ago and came across this new fragrance I’m pretty picky when it comes to scents but this one by Tom Ford is A-MA-ZING. It’s a light, summery scent that just smells like how I imagine rich people who live on the Mediterranean smell. The description says it has hints of “Tunisian Neroli, Italian Bergamot and Sicilian Lemon” It’s very expensive but this  body oil is more in my price range and I promise you it is worth it.

 

 Turquoise Necklace, Turquoise Jewelry, Bead Necklace

Statement Turquoise Necklace

Vintage Turquoise Statement Necklance Etsy-Fcollective $52.00

Since my Mom and I have an Etsy shop, I love to support other Etsy sellers and this shop f collective is one of our favorites! They sell a mix of vintage and handmade items and I just love their aesthetic and point of view. This necklace would be the perfect addition to my collection!

 

 

 

Vintage Red kettle

Vintage Red Kettle

Vintage Red Enamel kettle with wood handle Etsy-Microscope Telescope $40.00

For as much coffee and tea that I drink, I think a new tea kettle is in order. I love the bright pop of color and the warm wooden handle on this one from Microscope Telescope.

 

Orange Flower Earrings

Orange Flower Earrings

Orange Flower Earrings-Etsy Skomoroki $18.33

I love these delicate vintage earrings and they would be perfect with a light summer dress and some sandals.

 

 

NYDJ Ami Skinny Jeans

NYDJ Ami Skinny Jeans

NYDJ Ami Skinny Jeans-Nordstrom Rack $49.97

Since I’m a Mama myself now and clothes aren’t fitting quite like they used to I have had to re-adjust what I look for when shopping for jeans. These NYDJ jeans have changed my life. They are soft, stylish, have a hihger rise in the back so I’m not dealing with possible underwear exposure every time I pick up my kids. They are so comfortable you will forget you are wearing stylish pants. Go buy a pair for yourself and for your Mama. She will thank you.

Why Am I So Lonely? Seven Steps to Finding Friends in Spite of Social Media

I was scrolling through my Instagram feed yesterday. My friend Alissa Circle posted this picture of some delicious Side Car Doughnuts.

box of Sidecar Donuts

Yes, that’s bacon. On a donut.

Alissa was sharing how nice it was to spend time with friends – sharing life, coffee and donuts with other amazing women. In the comment section below the photo, several chimed in about how delicious the donuts looked (um..yeah!) but there were two comments that caught my attention.

“This is so lacking in my life and I just spent some time this morning praying for a life filled with more female friendships. Love this for you! (And doughnuts are one of my love languages)”

“I have been praying similarly! Seems so hard to find great gal pals!”

These comments just tore at my heart. I could hear the loneliness and longing in the comments. They reminded me of those long, dry periods of my life where I felt the same.  Times when I was hungry for friendships and meaningful connections with other women but struggled to find them.

I admit it, even now there are times that I feel disconnected and lonely but it is nothing compared to my early years of motherhood when I craved a female connection that I could not seem to find.

Over the years I have learned a thing or two about friendship and while I am certainly no expert on the topic, I would love to see other women enjoying the rich benefits that true friends can bring.  Here is a list of Seven Steps I’ve found that help open the doors to lasting and meaningful friendships.

  1. Be intentional.
  2. Listen.
  3. Be friendly.
  4. Look for friends in unexpected places.
  5. Appreciate what you already have.
  6. Get out of your comfort zone.
  7. Pray.

1. Be intentional.

This is key!  If you want friends, make it a priority to find them and carve out time to spend with them.  I know how busy you are.  I get it.  But anything worth having, is worth your time.  So, instead of playing another game of Candy Crush or cleaning the house, call or text a could-be friend.  Yes, I just gave you permission to have a dirty  house.  You’re welcome.

I know.  It’s hard to reach out.  You risk rejection or even worse, being ignored.  But DO it anyway!

2. Listen.

There was a time when I was so wrapped up in my own head, listening to my own fears and worries, that I didn’t really take the time to listen to those around me.  I was so focused on myself and my own woes that I wouldn’t have noticed a potential friend if she came up to me and hit me over the head!

This step goes hand-in-hand with Step #1.  When I am intentional, when I am truly listening, I hear other women and the cry of their heart for the same type of meaningful relationships that I crave.  Once I hear it, I can respond with an open hand of friendship instead of a clenched fist of pity.

3. Be friendly.

For God’s sake – SMILE! Let people know you want to be friends.  Not in a clingy, stalker-ish way but casually, as part of the conversation.  And puh-leeze do not be that girl that nobody needs as a friend.  You know her.  She’s whiny, complaining, critical, gossipy.  I know we all have our moments but girlfriend, if that is your MO, trust me…  nobody’s got time for that!

4. Look for friends in unexpected places.

Maybe you are a mom, ‘stuck’ at home with a couple of toddlers or rebellious teenagers.  Maybe you’re a single business woman, devoted to your career or growing a business.  Maybe you’re retired and the kids have left home.  Who says your friends have to match you or be in the same stage of life?  Yes, there is definitely something to be gained by having friends who are walking through the same stuff – there’s a certain camaraderie that brings, but sometimes hanging out with other women with the same issues is an invitation to a pity party. All of that commiserating can leave you feeling even more drained.

5. Appreciate what you already have.

Ow!  This is something I have definitely neglected to do.  I’ve looked for friends when they’ve been there all along!  A few months ago, Steve and I got together with our friends Mark and Patty for an impromptu evening of playing cards and just generally hanging out.  This is something we do very infrequently.  Why?  I don’t know.  Anyway, as we were driving home that night it hit me.  Patty is a dear friend.  We have known each other for a very long time but I never gave our friendship the care and value that it deserved.  I immediately let her know how much I appreciate her and have committed to giving our friendship the attention it deserves.

6. Get out of your comfort zone.

Do any of your friends or acquaintances have a different belief system than you?  If not, why not?

Do you agree on everything from politics to religion to bottle or breast?  No bueno. The next time you encounter someone who has a different point of view, consider spicing things up and adding to your circle of friends with someone who will challenge the status quo.  Don’t be frightened.  That liberal mom or homeschooling parent won’t bite!  (Caveat – if they do, drop ’em like a hot potato!)

I love the fact that so many of my friends have disparate opinions.  Sometimes our differences can encourage healthy debate but more often than not, we find we have more in common than we originally thought.

7. Pray.

If your spirit has been wounded by someone you once considered a friend (oh my, how that hurts!)

If you have been friendly and open and appreciative and willing, but still feel friendless.

If you are terrified of taking that first step and being rejected.

If you just don’t even know where to begin.

Pray.  Ask your heavenly Father to heal those broken places, give you the courage to take that next step and find those friends you so desperately need.

And, if you’re looking for someone to share a coffee and a doughnut, give me a call!

My Random List of Learning

You know, if you’re not learning you’re in a rut, right?  The way to stay young and keep your mind sharp is to always be learning something new.  I recently compiled My Random List of Learning – the three top things I want to learn this year.

Number 1 on my list is surfing.  A few days ago we were at the beach watching the surfers ride the waves when it hit me.

I never learned to surf.

I have lived in California for most of my life yet I’ve never been on a surfboard.

I wondered to myself – why not learn now?

Because, I told myself – there are loads of reasons you can’t. Here are the top six.

  1. Shark attacks (they happen for real)
  2. I’m over 50.
  3. I have a torn rotator cuff.
  4. I am a mediocre swimmer.
  5. I’m a grandmother.
  6. The Pacific Ocean is cold!
  7. Sharks.

I won that internal debate with myself, yet the thought kept nagging at me. Why not? WHY NOT!?

toes in the sand

This is what grandmas should be doing at beaches. Aaah!

So, I countered that list with another list.

  1. Shark attacks rarely happen.
  2. I’m only 52.
  3. I can strengthen my arm.
  4. I don’t need to be an Olympic swimmer to surf.
  5. I could surf with my grandchildren.
  6. The water is cold?  So is life, sister.  Suck it up!
  7. Did I mention shark attacks rarely happen?

If you want to be sure to win an argument, have it with yourself.

I am now putting it out there in the universe.  I start physical therapy next week.  I am working at strengthening my shoulder and increasing my mobility.  My goal is to be strong enough to take lessons by next summer.

Number 2 on My Random List of Learning is – whistling (I told you this list was random).

I have always wanted to be able to whistle really loud.  When I was a little girl, my mom had a close friend – a beautiful woman who I admired – and she could split the air with the volume and shrill sound of her whistle.  I was in awe of this talent and vowed that when I grew up, I would be able to make heads turn with the awesomeness of my whistle.

Sad to say, my whistle is weak.   Sometimes life is disappointing like that.  So, I’ve been watching YouTube tutorials on whistling and am determined to figure out how to do this!  So far, I’m not having any luck but when I master my technique, I will share it with you.

Number 3 on My Random List of Learning is knitting.

I watch people knitting and it seems so…serene and relaxing, yet productive at the same time.  I attempted to learn years ago but aimed a bit too high by picking a sweater as my first knitting project.  I think I will start with a scarf this time.  Anyone want to teach me?

So there it is.  My Random List of Learning.

Now I’m asking you.  What have you always wished you knew how to do?  What is a skill you admire in others?  What would be on your My Random List of Learning?